Monday, October 15, 2012

Finding My Cinderella


I had only been on the market for a few days when I saw her walk in and straight away I knew she and I would be hitting the floor together that night.

It took her a little time but I caught her eye when she walked into where I was just waiting, letting her be the one to make the first move.

Her eyes wandered to my friend to the left of me. I was a little surprised by that. I mean, I clocked what she was wearing. Printed tee, skinny black jeans. I was more her type than.....anyway, I had to watch as she smiled and sized up my friend. I knew, I just knew that they weren't a match.

I could see the look of disappointment on her face.

If only I could catch her eye again. Then she would know that we were made for each other. I knew that if the two of us got together then I could help her feel like she used to. That part of her that she pushed aside when the fear kicked in. The fear of falling, of failing. Of making a fool of herself.

All rubbish of course. But try telling her that.

I knew I could make her smile again. But, she had to choose me.

Those are the rules.

Just as I was about to give up hope of her ever noticing me, she asked if she could meet me. 'Here we go' I thought to myself.

Strangely I thought of that rubbish fairy tale about Cinderella and that glass slipper. It was a story that I had grown up with and decided that it was just for fools and those dainty little things with no substance. But here I was. One perfect fit and our lives would change.

And fit we did.

Before I knew it she had me on her feet and we were out on the floor together. She was a little cautious at first and I had to slow my wheels a little for her but once we found our rhythm there was no stopping us that night. I could see other people watching us with envy, admiring the way we looked so good together and how much she was smiling.

I have a very good feeling that my Cinderella just found me tonight and we'll be out on the rink for a long time to come.

Zero Tolerance Roller Skates


















Friday, July 13, 2012

Junk vs Healthy



So Jayne asks....


What were your old food habits like? What were you like before embarking on this journey to become a healthier version of yourself? How did you feel?
 Was there anything you struggled with but have over come?(etc addictions soft drinks, chocolates are some examples) How did you do it? Was it just a decision you made? Or did you do it slowly?
 Now I would like you tell me and maybe tell others that aren't on the journey what has changed? What are your new eating habits like? How do you feel now? What is the difference? Tell us how it is changing your life? It can be hard at times! But tell us why it has been and continues to be worth it?

I haven't written a Shoe Story ( see www.shehascuteshoes.com for other Shoe Stories and just what they are ) for a while so I thought this might be a different way to do this post today. I hope you like it. 





We sat on the steps, just the two of us. It was quiet there and no one would bother us for the hour or two we could just be ourselves. We didn't have to explain why we couldn't do extra classes or why our school uniform was plain and common and there was no need for a hat or a blazer.

We had already been to the fish and chip shop downstairs to get our hot chips with salt and vinegar and we sat with our nose buried in a book we could escape. Opening the white butchers paper slowly, breathing in that comforting smell of the hot, fried potato and the crisp smell of the vinegar that was sharp on our tongue.

After we had eaten them slowly, we ate a packet of chips and we kept reading and hiding. Salt and Vinegar, Chicken or Plain. Sometimes Burger Rings. Never cheese Twisties lest she be asked why we didn't audition for the TV commercial.

These foods became our friends. They were fat friends in comfort food clothing and would contribute to the disconnection between the two of us.

We just weren't able to make that connection yet.

Size 3 Bloch Ballet Shoes xx

Then....


Just. Get. Home.
Open the garage door. 
Don't hit the side of the garage. 
Careful! Careful!
Remember to lock the car. Lock the garage door.
Don't forget the "meds". 
Upstairs. 
Don't turn on the lights. 
Slowly. Carefully. No sudden movements.
Drink some Diet Coke. Take the tablets.
Go into the bedroom. Take the "other meds".

She unties me and I watch her as she eases herself onto the bed. It's dim in here so it's hard to see. We are usually together, she and I but when she's like this, it's like I am watching her from a distance.

Carefully she places a cool pack on her head, picks up a book she has read numerous times and opens a large packet of plain chips.
Once she has finished her "other medicine" she leans over and shoves the empty packet under the bed. Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of guilt. Closes her eyes and sleeps. 

I stay by the side of the bed and wait. This is not the first time. Nor will it be the last time we do this. 

Size 5 Aqua Chucks xx



I remember the day when she saw those Vegemite Chips. 

I remember the day when she stalked those Vegemite Chips. 

They stayed in the flat for weeks because she decided they would be our birthday treat. 

We had just started Rounds 3 of 12WBT and we were determined not to self medicate our migraines or our loneliness with potato chips ( or hot chips ) and find better ways to deal with both. 

But when she saw ( I refuse to say we! ) those chips she knew that they were only going to be around for a short amount of time - it was a choice that had to be made.

Believe it or not we weren't tempted to eat them. And our birthday came and went and those chips stayed in their packet. We ate them over a week on four separate occasions, putting them in a special bowl and enjoying each one. 

It was a little victory. We would have our setbacks over the coming months but it was a giant leap forward. Somehow the lesson stuck too. They lost some of their power that day. 

Little win. 

x Light Aqua Havianas


And now....



Just. Get. Home.
Open the garage door. 
Don't hit the side of the garage. 
Careful! Careful!
Remember to lock the car. Lock the garage door.
Don't forget the "meds". 
Upstairs. 
Don't turn on the lights. 
Slowly. Carefully. No sudden movements.
Drink some Diet Coke. Take the tablets.
Go into the bedroom. 

She unties me and I watch her as she eases herself onto the bed. It's dim in here so it's hard to see. We are usually together, she and I but when she's like this, it's like I am watching her from a distance.

Carefully she places a cool pack on her head, picks up a book she has read numerous times and reads.

Sometimes, although not every time she eases herself out of bed and makes a Vegemite sandwich or some plain popcorn with a fair amount of salt and gingerly brings that back to her bed to eat before the medication does it's job and she falls asleep. 

I look under her bed. 

No chip packets for the past 8 weeks. 

So far, so good. 

Size 5 Aqua Chucks xx






Mmm Corn Fritters. Avocado. Corn Relish. Chips. Chips.  

But we don't want the hot chips.

Oooooh. Hot chips. Yes we do. Oh but maybe not. 

Ok. Ploughmans Platter it is then. No Chips with that. 

They chatter. Laugh. Giggle. Whinge about things a bit. Ask each other questions about husbands, babies, children and dating. 

J ordered a bowl of hot chips to share! Seagull! Can we seagull?! Yes. Look who we are with! Of course we can! Hurrah!

Stop. Before we start. We need to establish some ground rules here. How many? 

Who cares! I feeeeellllll like hot chips! They look so crispy too! 

Cut it out. 5. 

10.

8. My last offer. And if they get dessert Missy. One word. No. 

Fine. I like how my black skinnies aren't as skinny anymore anyway!


Me xx

Fuchsia Boots xxx